Your face is a jimmy john
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Randomize
