im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
