I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
