whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
