I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
