belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
