Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
