this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
