I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
