I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
