I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
