Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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