dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
