**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
