fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We left the knife in your bed.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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