I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
