It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
