that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
