Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
