You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
