i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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