Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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