I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize