So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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