Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
