Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
