you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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