you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
