He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Someone came in the potted fern
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
