so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
