just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
