Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
