with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
