Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
