At least make sure they are 18
Why
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
