im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
