Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life

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(602): View more from Arizona

I wish they made sweatshirts for legs

(1-602): View more from Arizona

you mean pants?

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(516): View more from New York

I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"

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(325): View more from Texas

Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday

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(305): View more from Florida

If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?

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(206): View more from Washington

The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.

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(678): View more from Georgia

kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party

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