I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
