Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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