I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
