where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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