We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
