just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
