Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
