i need an iv and a liver transplant
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
