1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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