Umm I'm too high to move.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
