I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
