so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
