Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
someone owes me an orgasm
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
