Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
