Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
