I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize