If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
that is very illegal...i love you.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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