I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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