office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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